I feel like I’m seeing the world through a film of Saran wrap. Things happen, and it’s not reaching me.
A couple friends gave me a sort of intervention last night, telling me that things are wrong since the surgery and need to be dealt with. I felt their concern (in some cases, alarm), but it was muffled. It’s like I’m watching it all happen while inside of this plastic suit. I felt their concern but it wasn’t my concern. It should have been and I know it, but it wasn’t.
It’s hard to care about anything. I know I should care, but I don’t have the emotion to give to it. The only thing I really feel is tiredness. I come home from work every day and nap for a couple hours, only to wake up feeling just as tired as before I laid down. I sleep at night and wake up feeling the same.
I feel like I’m running my life on a checklist. Get ready for work tomorrow, set out clothes, close the house, shut things down. Check, check, check. None of it matters. None of it affects me.
Maybe it’s a comfort. Maybe being muffled is a good thing. I’m just tired.