Today, the parental units went to check out apartments–excuse me, apartment. As in one. My mom told me earlier this week that she wanted to do it this weekend, so I mentioned it to her while we were out.
To save myself from unpleasantness, I’ve vowed to say nothing if/when I went along to look at apartments, so while they looked at a three bedroom, I was silent. I listened to the manager while he did his spiel, and while the parental units asked their questions.
After the tour was done, my mom asked me if I liked it. I shrugged.
She frowned. “You could have stayed at home for that.”
“You told me you wanted to look at apartments this weekend,” I said. “You asked me to remind you. I did what you asked. ”
In the car, my dad asked me if I liked the apartment. I told him that I had no opinion; if he liked it, then good.
“What does that mean?” he asked.
“Just what it says,” I said. “If you like it, good. I have no opinion. ”
We stopped at the grocery store and I got out to buy minutes for my cell phone. When I got back in the car, my mom said, “I just want you to know that I think your attitude is really ugly.”
“You’re acting like we’re doing you some huge injustice.”
I blinked. “Saying that I have no opinion on an apartment–which is true–is acting like you’re doing me an injustice? How?”
“You could be more supportive,” my dad says.
“Nobody understands,” my mom says. “Nobody is trying to help. We’re already under a lot of stress; you’re just adding more.”
“How? By trying not to open up an argument by saying what I really think about this situation? I don’t want to argue with you about it; there’s no point in it.”
“But we’re not arguing!” my mom says.
“Not now, but if we start this, it’ll turn into one. I really don’t need that, and you don’t either, since you’re so stressed.”
“If you really cared, you’d stop acting like you’re 10, and try to understand what we’re going through. But you don’t care. All you see is that we have to move and you don’t want to,” my mom says.
I’m shaking my head now. Seems like I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. “Look, I do understand what’s happening here. Moving sucks and nobody likes doing it, but you adjust. If it were only that, it would be fine. It’s not though, and I’m not going to open an argument with you by trying to tell you what it is.” And I got out of the car.
= = =
Sigh. I know what it is. If I was sure they’d hear it and believe me, I’d tell them.
Why do they want to know my opinion at all? My opinions have never been considered in any decision they’ve made ever, so why should I offer one now? The only one they’ve ever considered is the Lord of Lassitude (in fact, my dad mentioned something about security, since he hopes nobody comes up to wherever they end up and does harm to LoL. Nothing wrong with wanting to be sure your kid is safe, but my dad knows very well what LoL is like; he knows that LoL attracts trouble like rotting meat attracts flies)–and you see how well that worked out.
As for being supportive, how can I be supportive of their stupidity? They’re having to look at apartments through their own fault. They’re considering paying rent that’s almost as much as the mortgage they’ve not paid in months–it’ll be about the same once you add in the bills they’ll still have to pay. If they can’t pay the mortgage, why do they think they’ll be able to pay the rent? The amount of money they bring in won’t change. Their outlay damn sure won’t change, since they refuse to budget. I can’t see how they’ll do it.
As far as what I understand, I understand that their dimwittery has resulted in their having to uproot and relocate the whole shooting match. I understand that because of their poor management skills, they have to downsize from a five bedroom house that has a dining room, a formal living room and a family room, to a three bedroom apartment that’s barely as large as said formal living room and family room put together. They’re going to have to pay for storage of all their extra stuff, which is yet another bill. I understand that they’re living in major denial, since they are totally sure that this will be the best thing that’s happened to them in the history of ever.
And yet, I’m the one with the bad attitude, since I can’t be rosy and bubbly about this outcome? Since I can’t put on blinders and be “supportive”? Since I will not mouth lies about how this move is great and will fix everything?
I don’t know. Am I wrong for feeling like this?