What is this “Common Sense” you speak of?

My teacher asks me why I feel like life should have deadlines attached to it. It’s because my mom says things like what she said today.

The Lord of Lassitude’s current primary girlfriend is about six months pregnant with her third child, so she and my mom were trading birth stories. My mom was telling LoL’s gf about what happened when I was born (I was born early and was underweight and very sick for months), and how the doctors told my mom about all the things that would be wrong with me because I was so sick. LoL’s gf is tearing up while she’s listening; it’s a pretty dire story.

At the end of her recitation, my mom says, “But the doctors were wrong–she’s perfectly fine now. She doesn’t have any common sense, and the only thing she’s slow in is life!” And then she laughs.

Mind you–I’m sitting right there listening to this. That last sentence was unnecessary, and rude too.

Yes, I’ve heard the above my entire life, but I’ve never understood what’s meant by “common sense.” I won’t die or be unable to do what needs to be done if I’m left outside the house and family for a time. I know how to do basic things. I can feed myself, budget, shop effectively. I can dress myself, manage to get myself where I need to go with a minimum of fuss. I can talk to people. I know how to work; I’ve held jobs before. I know how to manage my time and my energy.

So what am I missing? What’s common sense? You have to have common sense to do all that, right?

As for being slow in life–okay, so I’m not married or popping out kids like my siblings. Shouldn’t she be glad of that? It’s like she’s just disgusted with me.

She doesn’t say that the Lord of Lassitude is slow in life; he lives here, just like me. The Lord of Lassitude has done some downright stupid–and rather costly–things, and yet she never says he has no common sense.

Could somebody explain it to me?


3 thoughts on “What is this “Common Sense” you speak of?

  1. esta123 says:

    There is no ONE answer to that one, as dang near everybody has a personal list of what they think.. is common sense. Which generally means, anyone who thinks like me, has it and anyone who does think like me, don’t.

    And your quite right, extremely rude on her part. I did not realize you were a preemie and had that many troubles. An ya know, that just might explain some of your mothers.. condescending attitude.. as she was outright told to expect.. aberrational mental issues.. a thought to ponder.. yes ?

  2. nyghtmist says:

    So why doesn’t she just say that I don’t think like her and she doesn’t like it? Why hedge the point? She’s not trying to impress my brother’s girlfriend–or any of the other people she says that to. I’ve asked her to explain what she means when she says common sense, but no dice. She just mumbles something about what “everybody knows” and leaves it at that.

    I never thought of it in that light, but yes, that may be true. But, if that’s true, shouldn’t she be even more proud or whatever of the things I’ve done? Why be dissatisfied or disappointed with how I turned out when the doctors told her to not expect very much at all?

    • esta123 says:

      First, one has to KNOW the fact that the things we consider, “common sense” are entirely from our own point of view. and most people, don’t and the second, you would think huh ?

      But perhaps that is why she still tends to see you as.. incapable ? Even though in her heart she knows that’s totally wrong, as she can see full well with her own eyes its wrong, but in her head, since she doesn’t understand you.. she convinces herself. the docs might have been right.. your brain must have issues…. at least to her mind, as it gives her.. a reason to be condescending and belittling. Has she not always said so ? In fact, she had you damn near convinced of it ?

      As contrary to what most think, many parents of kids who are honestly born with defects, tend to treat them rather badly really, as they are disappointed and have never get over it.

      In your case, the docs were dead wrong, other than your eyes are weak, and she knows it… but since you are total puzzlement to her .. she mentally gives herself..a reason.. rather that accept that her own reasoning about what you ” should do or think”.. is faulty.

      It would explain a great deal on how she behaves, if you think about it, in particular.. what she tends to think about how you would fare.. on your own.

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